Day 2

Well, because day 2 is coming for a few minutes more. I cannot wait any longer to wait in posting this second story. It is about... why I being single till now. To be frank I've been in a relationship before. Two guys... means two exes. Don't get me wrong, I am not dating both of them at the same time. Haha... Hmm, the first one is my senior when I was in a high school on that time, it was around 2012-2013. What I remember is I was couple with him for one year, I think. That was my first guy that I have a relationship with. The others, especially my first love is just my crush, not more than that. We both clash/separated from having any feelings because it was my own decision. I just want to stay away from being a girl that underage in having a relationship. On that moment, my father did not allow me or my sisters to have a relationship with any guy. Because we are still studying in a high school. What we need to do is stay focus on our studies. Just like others typical Malaysian parents. Well, that actually a good things for us. Regarding to the situation in this country, the trend of the high school student, who is having a relationship and do stupid things (you know that ridiculous things) . So, what a relieve that my father pretty aware of that trends. Syukur. Both of us still be friend till now. Haha... cos he a good guy. And I', gland to see him with someone that is way much better than me. His happiness is what I need to see. That because I want him to be happy and as a sorry from me cos break up with him on that time.  

The next guy is my old primary school that I never know that he exist on that time. We get to know each other during Hari Raya. Haha... well, love can change my mind. Right? He also a good guy as my first ex. However, there is something that I could not stand. Which is the things that he do did not match what my Principe is.... So, end of the story of both of us, I as usual, end the relationship before we get any further serious in the relationship. I didn't tell him (the truth) why I break up with him. I just tell him that I want to focus on my studies since I'm going to do my degree. It is just my excuse so that he won't be hurt much as I do. I know that he mad at me. But, I just want to see him happy with his life. I'm just a new person who came to his life. So I don't have a right to tells him to change as soon as possible. To be honest, my love on him become weaker since I know the 'things' that cross the line of my Principe. But, at the end of the day. Till now we still being friend. Just a friend that asked one question for one year. haha...

So, till now, I am single. But still have a crush in my heart that I'm afraid to be in a relationship. I call him as N. A guy who is I'm in love in this moment. However, he is in love with my own friend. Well, my friend is way to good than me. I am just a girl that have nothing. But my friend is one kind of a person that guy will be attract of. Why? She is having a powerful religious (direct translate for kuat agamanya) Haha... What about me? I am just a person who practice my religion, but still do stupid things, sins. Yeah... not to good in it. But still try to improve myself. One more is because she wears niqab/purdah/face veil. That's whats make she was the first choice of any guy out there. Hmm... good to se her being like that. Cos me still don't have strength to be like that. It is enough for me to be just like this, naughty but kind. Kind eh? I don't know, that's what my friends tells me what they feel about me. Kind. Not sure bout it. What I know is I like to tease everyone that I know. What I called as my habit. 

So that's all about Day 2. Lee'sDearDiary.

Questions to myself:

Will I get a chance to be a better porson?

Will I'm able to be in love again?

Or I will remain afraid in having a relationship?

Please drop any comments below if you have something to say to me.

Stay single?

Or forever alone?